Winnie

winnieloves — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 18:17:33 +0000

i hate how suddenly everyone is into photography and art. everyone’s got a dev or flickr and photographs with no meaning are getting great reviews. most of the art is copied, esp writing. prose is becoming a thing that everyone can do, but its not. i hate how art is becoming labelled and confined into a little box that says love vs pain. poetry is distorted into being about being in love or about drugs. there are so many more things to write about, so many more important things. art comes naturally to some, and some just think they can. art is a need not something you do because you feel like it.

i like how intelligence has become a praised virtue in this generation, and people are getting more involved. laziness is frowned upon and the future is something that almost everyone has figured out. school is a priority and other nesessities are next. i like how falling in love has now become something that is non-exist, something that is there but we are not aware of it. i like how being busy has held most of us together, and no one is bored anymore. there are things to learn and things to do, thats all that matters.

winnieloves — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 00:53:06 +0000

Alright, okay. Life is turning into such a boring piece of shit nowadays. I don’t even know what more there is to life than school. My inspiration is gone, my guitar won’t be here until next week, I’m just dead. Things are getting so much more annoying. My mother won’t pick up the goddamn phone. gah. I’m just waiting for change. I’m waiting for things to happen. I’m waiting for someone to stir shit up. Maybe I’ll go write a song. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. Goodbye,

Birthday

winnieloves — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 05:06:04 +0000

This has got to be the best birthday ever. At least after school. I also got soo many things.

- $300 from my daddy

- a professional hair curler from my mommy

- an oversized cardigan from jacob from my auntie

- $100 from relatives

Actually it’s really not so much, but i’m stuffed up so full to even care. This is all I need. We ordered 100 wings for the 5 of us. It was great! And the waiters even sang me happy birthday! =) And the music was great. Oh, I love the Hanson Ranch.

winnieloves — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 00:49:44 +0000

Today was alright, I guess. Things are starting to get so much better with you out of my life. I still care about you, but somehow it’s nice not to have you call all the time. I’ve also found out crazy things that I didn’t want to hear. How can someone who I think is so real and genuine, be really superficial to someone else? I don’t know and I don’t like it. But other than that, I feel like I’m living the life I want to. It’s hard to be friends with people who are in two completely different social groups. I feel like i’m used sometimes.

And also, I think it’s really horrible that you’ve been brought up this way, and it’s put a damper on the way you live and what you do with your life. I’m sorry.

reasons

winnieloves — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 05:14:48 +0000

Everything I’ve done in life and worked up for seems to be something I’m always confused about. Whether I’ve taken the right road, if my legs will keep up, if my heart will keep up. I don’t know, but I keep going. I’ve got expectations to be met. I’m nothing without those. Nothing at all. Doodles and writing won’t get me further up the road, it’ll just slow me down, let me take my time to understand things that are already done and over and gone. Sometimes all I want is to build myself up just so I can pull that last block from underneath to send me down hard. Hard and fast but slow at the same time. I’m tired of taking my life slow. I want to break myself into pieces just to see if I can put them back together again. In a way, I want to lose to live. I want to lose to win this game of playing puppeteer for someone who I know is not me. I want to meet another stray along the road, I want to tell you the world, I want to confide everything I know in that stray along the road. Because of that one similarity; the fact that we are both strays, I find that I can trust someone I don’t even know. I want share that little piece of me in you. I want you to see who I am, and I’m there inside of you, nestled in a corner of your soul. No more walking back anymore. No more walking back to take the other route. No more walking.

winnieloves — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 00:30:00 +0000

please don’t do this. i know you don’t but you must. you won’t even tell a person who should know. only me. just stop, it’s not good.

not always

winnieloves — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 00:16:19 +0000

i’m not always like this. quiet and not caring. he stopped calling. that’s nice.

rachel made my day. the bus ride was amazing being squished up into a seat with emily and rachel.

i like having heart to hearts. its nice.

my mother’s being really strict. i can’t wait until my father gets back.

i need to buy my costume.

i think im going to tell some people about what happened. they deserve to know, i guess.

ack, i hate how everything you do is always right, and you can put down people so hard and no one cares.

sober.

winnieloves — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 23:05:21 +0000

i didn’t know that i ever said i’d date you again if you did this. i feel so terribly guilty to see you like this for three whole days, and now just bingng back on. shit, i’m so sorry. i can’t even see you to tell you, but i’m not even sure if i want to, if i could. i tried calling someone to talk but they aren’t home yet, i guess. i hate how i don’t tell people who care about me things i know they should know.

and you. i’m really surprised at how cute you are and how much i want something to happen, but i know it’ll end just as soon as it starts. things with others havent even ended yet and i’m already lusting. it makes me feel bad, and maybe thats why i’m sort of avoiding you. i dont know.

please, come over secretly so we can talk.

UK

winnieloves — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 05:09:53 +0000

so, i’ve decided i’m going to move to the UK after high school, cause North America sucks. I’ll live in a nice little dorm and find friends. Then i won’t have to deal with the protests of my parents when i take a course that i want to. I mean, sure i would love to be a surgeon or work on some forensic team, but i have a passion for design and art too. psycology is interesting too.

i’ve been having the same feelings again, about doing things i know i can’t. Dreams are coming back, and they wont let me get a nice peaceful night of sleep. i want to feel what he feels, so i can help him. i want to move out even tho i only have like $1000 in my account. i want to graduate and move elsewhere. i want to have kids so i can dress them up. =)

ha, yeah. things are turning out real good, as in friends and relationships. He hasn’t called, i think it just hit him. my parents are still being twits. its not bad. and i really need a job, ever since i got fired from good earth. bahaha.

happiness

winnieloves — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 03:08:22 +0000

that’s all you ever need in life.

so i’m going to stop with all this, and just start looking at the positive.